Saturday, September 11, 2010

Welcome to the "Lap Dunce" Hall Of Fame, Mr. Hickey!

Jimmy Hickey aka p8check45
Jimmy Hickey is a 19 year old American paintball enthusiast and a budding photographer who wants to be known for his photographic works in the future! He goes under the name of p8check45 in the PbNation website.

He came to the Philippines together with several other young American team mates to represent Team USA  in the Philippine leg of the Paintball Asia League international paintball competition held last August 19, 2010 at Clark Field, Pampanga. The team won the trophy for the division they entered! However, several days later, they caught the ire of the local organizers.

What made the organizers of the competition and other local paintball enthusiasts fuming mad was the video footage of their trip to the Philippines which this guy uploaded on You Tube. The moron  entitled it "The land of swindlers: Team USA by Pbracks trip to the Philippines".

My daughter, who was one of the organizers of the event was fuming mad when she sent me the link to Hickey's post at the PbNation website! She and the the rest of the organizers of the paintball competition took pains to make the event a truly wholesome and memorable one for each participant. Hickey's comments were really uncalled for and deserves rebuke. Specially so, because the sad part of his first Philippine experience were mainly due to his stupidity and carelessness. My daughter demands a public apology from this dim-witted guy.

Apparently, Hickey and his young team mates were looking forward to having more fun and action than what the competition has to offer. Perhaps that's why they came earlier than the scheduled paintball tournament. They planned to tour the steamy red light districts of the place! Venturing on their own they got what they rightly deserved...what else will you expect visiting bars and steamy places unescorted by their hosts!

If anything, Hickey and friends succeeded not only to be paintball champions in their division, they were also able to elevate themselves to the laughable Lap Dunce Hall of Fame.

(What is a Lap Dunce? You may want to ask.  A Lap dunce is a person whose personality is a special mix of vanity and stupidity. These are people who'd indiscreetly frequent bars offering lap dancers as entertainment and then brag about his wild nights with strippers to his friends and team mates. Like any other Dunce, a Lap Dunce is described as slow-witted or stupid person.)

The Lap Dunces Savoring their moment!
With them in this category are Robert McCormick,  a 40 year old married executive of an internet service provider in the US. McCormick was the first ever to be tagged as a Lap Dunce after raking in an eye-popping American Express bill in the amount of $241,000 from a wild night two years ago at the East Side pleasure palace in New York. Another hall of famer in this despicable category is James Clooney, a Long Island businessman who's being sued for stiffing a Manhattan strip club on a nearly $47,000 tab. Of course we won't forget A-Rod, the major-league slugger  who can't even go to a sex club without making a fool of himself.

So, there you have it, Hickey! You and your friends are in good company after all. Next time you and your friends go gig-hunting around a red light district anywhere in the world (including yours), put in mind that the people there will always treat you as 'suckers'...because that's what these places are for!

By the way, Hickey, the owner of Obama Grill at Boracay is an American! (You really owe the Filipinos an apology!) Me, I won't settle for less than striking that uploaded video out of You Tube!
I guess you and your team mates will be invited to the 3rd Leg of the PAL Series in KL. Well, .good luck to all of you there -  if you intend to make a repeat of your stupidity in Malaysia!

Here is what Hickey wrote at the PbNation website:

"Had a blast on this trip. The Filipino people are super friendly, but just love to swindle ya for every single Peso you own. The Philippines was a pretty interesting place, food was cheap as hell, (tobacco was too, you could get a pack of marbs for like 0.20!) hotels were normal price and varied in niceness. We went to downtown Manila, which I was told is the most densely populated city in the world. Going to bars and Karaoke bars was interesting. There would be anywhere from 20-100 girls in there all in their gross little skanky clothes. You would then chose one or ten of them to come sit with you. You would then pay for them to sit next to you, and potentially (depending on the ventue) buy them drinks at like triple the price of the normal drinks since they are for the girls. Some were prostitutes but none of the ones we encountered were. The streets in Manila were crowded as hell with little kids begging for money, prostitutes and humanoids. From there we went out to Borocay. Which is pretty much an island paradise, minus the sewage goes directly into their crystal turquoise water and white sand beaches. When we were in Borocay we did some grade a drinking and went to the Obama grill where we were drugged after buying the all you can drink happy hour thing there. They snuck us drinks that weren't on the all you can drink menu and we ended up with around a $400 bar tab(US) for 5 people (keep in mind 1 beer is about 0.40. We didn't have all the money with us so they followed us back to our room and demanded our money. From there we flew back to Manila and took a 2 hour drive up to Clark Field for the PALS series. Stayed an a villa with our own personal security guard stationed outside our place 24/7. Played some paintball, won the event as team USA, then went to the bars and clubs nearby and partied hard. My highlight of the trip was getting pickpocketed by 3 prostitutes."

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